In a very simple and practical way, let's see 3 tips on how to deal with rejection, this feeling that has already made everyone's stomach churn.
Initially, it is important to bring a little lightness to the subject. Being rejected is not necessarily the end of the world as we often feel.
And above all, it is something more common than we imagine. We have all experienced rejection, and unfortunately we will continue passing.
These 3 tips on how to deal with Rejection will help you understand that this experience is quite common, and we can develop the ability to face them in a positive way.
1st Tip – Know what Rejection is
First of all, know what Rejection is. The word rejection comes from the Latin reicere, “to shoot back”. In this sense, rejection is taking back something you offered.
For example, you offer yourself as a candidate for a job, but after the interview the company does not hire you. His offer to work was returned by the company.
However, this simple situation generates in us an emotional experience in which we call “feeling of rejection“.
It is undeniable that this feeling of rejection is quite uncomfortable, it is accompanied by frustration, sadness and a feeling of insufficiency.
However, by knowing what rejection is, we have already identified that not all rejection is linked to our capacity, ability or identity.
In short, rejection is: when something we offer is returned.
2nd Tip – Know the reason for Rejection
Well, if something we offer is returned, the first step we must try to understand is the reason for the return. Find out the reason for the rejection!
Imagine you bought a pair of pants online. It is a unique piece from a famous brand with a high cost. Pants that no designer can fault.
The pants arrive at your home, you happily open the order, but the size and fit of the clothes don't look right on you (either because they are too small or too big).
You get sad, return the pants to the store and exchange them for shoes. You rejected the pants!
Imagine the emotional state of the pants after this rejection. Traveling many kilometers, full of expectation of finally finding an owner and being useful, and in the end being simply rejected.
Your rejecting the pants is not related to the quality, beauty or usefulness of the pants. In fact, they are still expensive and famous designer pants.
Sometimes when we are rejected, we personalize the rejection. I.e, we understand that the reason for rejection is our lack of capacity, ability or things like that.
In the end, knowing the reason for the rejection will bring us clarity, and in most cases the understanding that the reason for the rejection is not us, but the agent of the rejection himself.
Once the reason for rejection has been identified, let's move on to the last tip.
3rd Tip – Be assertive in the face of rejection
Now that you know how to seek to understand the reasons for rejection…
Be assertive in the face of rejection!
You will be assertive in the face of rejection by identifying your reasons and dealing appropriately with each reason for rejection.
We will present three rejection situations and the assertive way to deal with each of them.
Situation A – The reasons for rejection are beyond your control.
When you identify the reasons for rejection It's not about you, that is, your identity, capacity or ability was not questioned or disapproved.
For example, you applied for a job. You meet all the requirements presented by the company, did well in the interviews, but were rejected for the position.
Obviously this creates frustration and sadness, but then you discover that the manager's son was intentionally placed to fill the vacancy, because he is the manager's son.
The reason for your rejection was not a lack of professional skills or experience, much less disabilities at the time of the interview, the rejection happened for reasons beyond your control.
THE clarity in understanding what a rejection is and its reasons, will help you deal with sadness and frustration (which are natural) in a healthy and quick way.
Situation B – The reasons for rejection are trainable.
In this second situation, you identify that what caused the rejection was in fact the absence of a skill, knowledge or experience in something.
See, this situation (despite generating sadness) is not definitive. Rejection happens because you don't have something important to offer, but This does not mean that you are incapable of developing and learning.
Continuing the interview example, imagine that you were rejected for the position. The reason was the lack of fluency in the English language.
In fact, you are not fluent in English, but This does not mean you are incapable of learning and developing this skill.
Therefore, there is room for personal development, to learn new skills, and despite the frustration and sadness, you have the possibility to seek the position again.
Situation C – The reasons for rejection are immutable.
Finally, the last reasons for rejection are the hardest to deal with, however it is also true that they are the least common to occur.
Generally, rejections happen for the reasons of options A and B. Still, the option of rejection for immutable reasons exists and must be faced.
Immutable reasons are those rejection factors that you cannot change, develop or learn. Nothing you can do will change the reason for the rejection.
To stay with the professional experience illustration, imagine that you would like to be a police officer, firefighter or army soldier.
However, you have a special need, that is, you are a person with a severe disability (Pwd).
Unfortunately, in competitions for jobs such as police, firefighter or military, people with disabilities are rejected, and there is nothing that can be done.
In these cases, as in other options, sadness and frustration are natural, common and inherent feelings in the experience of rejection.
It is a rejection with deeper and more definitive reasons, but we can face it in an assertive and healthy way.
In fact, it is quite common for people with disabilities to be examples of how to face and overcome rejections due to conditions that are beyond their control.
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Conclusion
Here we present 3 tips on how to deal with rejection, so that you have a starting point when faced with a common and unpleasant situation.
Rejection is a common feeling. An experience inherent to human existence. If we are alive, we will experience situations of rejection.
Going through this experience is part of the development of human beings. It is important for our ability to persevere and for resilience.
It is important to remember that facing rejection in an assertive and healthy way does not mean not being sad, not frustrated, not crying or not getting hurt.
But, live all these feelings knowing how to name them, the reasons why they happen, and that they will not be permanent.
Finally, rejection can and most of the time is a catalyst for man, which makes him want to be better to avoid new experiences of rejection as much as possible.
If you are facing a rejection situation, follow these tips. Talk to friends, family and look for professionals such as psychologists and therapists.
3 tips on how to deal with rejection to help you face this existential experience.
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